space.

lately. i have really been fond of the word space. 

i’ve found myself using it a lot lately in many situations. i was in japan recently, talking with a good friend who is living in tokyo and having a blast. on that trip for a number of reasons, i kept reverting to the idea of space. japanese people live in a very strict culture. they have to adhere to many cultural standards that we as americans would never understand. they live in tight quarters. they commute in crowded trains. japan has the busiest intersection in the world. they lack space. they lack space to be and grown and expand, i think it might be one of the reasons the japanese have one of the highest suicide rates in the world along with high rates of alcoholism. 

this past year i met a friend. he is a very busy dude. he has way more going on than i ever could, but one of the things that impressed me most about him was how he still creates space in his life. he knows he needs it and so very naturally, he sets healthy boundaries to create a space in a schedule he has little control over. he prioritizes friends and family over cleaning, he spends the day reading if he wants to, if he needs a night alone, he’s not afraid to say. if he doesn’t want to go to loud and crowded bar, he offers a quieter solution. he likes space. i found out that i really like it too. 

i really admire his ability to balance these things and in observing his space, i knew i wanted the same. it took some practice at first. it was also uncomfortable. i didn’t like not having plans all the time. it felt weird to not have an event for every moment of my free days. it felt really weird. sometimes i would sit there on a free day feeling lonely and weird wishing that i had tried harder to make a plan. but then ultimately, i would find if i just breathed through the discomfort, i actually found the space really amazing. 

i have started to remember as a kid how much i enjoyed having a lot of quiet, alone time. as an only child and a latch key kid, i spent a good amount of time by myself. neither my mother or i were huge television watchers and in that quiet space, as a kid, i learned how to be me. as an adult, by letting go of the standard of needing to be constantly busy to seemingly have a ‘purpose’ i was not as good as i could be. space has given me a chance to find that girl again and i’m pretty happy with her. 

what i’m learning, is that by having open space, i have more room for surprise things to come in. here is a good analogy. If your closet is full of clothes how do you know what you have? what you like? and how will you have room for new things you find you might really like? by constantly leaving space in your life, you allow room for the universe to fill it with things you might really need or things you might not know you needed. it’s way more fun this way. surprise blessings are rad.

that happened this weekend. the only plan i had was to watch the t-ball game of a killer 5 year old i know. it ended up including my favorite massage place, my favorite burger place, my favorite yoga class, and making pie & eating thai takeout. all with some of my favorite friends. i was invited. i didn’t have to plan it all. i didn’t have to control it *gulp.* all i had to do was have the open space to show up and enjoy it. 

i’m practicing letting go and receiving. and you know what? i really, really like it. it was hard at first, but man, now it’s easy and it’s fun! i could have tried to plan those things and they might have happened and been just as lovely. but by allowing the space for them to flow naturally i enjoyed it way more. 

on this monday morning i have a very grateful heart. i get to have fun with my friends and i get to have all this space. i mean what more can you ask for? so maybe. if this speaks to you. try it. create a lil’ space. lemme know what happens!