Sunday, November 17, 2013

for dana. a lil' listening to your heart talk.

i’ve had this blog for awhile, but i’ve never really done much to promote it or keep it going constantly, i write things mostly when the mood strikes me and sometimes it’s months or years apart. 

however, lately people keep telling me the same thing. you should write about this. please blog about that. sometimes the universe gives us signs subtly and then sometimes it’s just pretty damn specific. so i’m attempting to listen. these past few months have been a mindfulness journey. it’s one where i’m attempting to slightly nudge my person into a soul who maybe thinks about the feelings i act on a lil’ bit more. However, part of this journey is all about trusting my feelings more too. it seems like a conundrum, but it actually makes a lot of sense when you get down to it.

a while back i met with this therapist. i don’t know how to say this nicely, other than this guy was a total douche bag and clearly not the therapist for me. i’m glad i figured it pretty early on. unfortunately, not before he was rather abusive about ending my sessions with him. the only nugget of information i really felt that i gleaned from him was that most people have their spiritual awakening in their 30’s and that’s my age! Yeah! i did some very real life lessons from him, to trust my gut and my initial instinct about people. my very first feelings towards him were that of distrust and that he didn’t vibe with me, but he was strongly recommended by a friend so i didn’t listen to my heart. It was a strong $800 lesson to trust my instincts. 

a while back i met with an awesome life coach. Dana is amazing, she has this magical gift to kind figure out what is going on with you and then explain it to you. She and I were talking about how I have such strong instincts and intuition. I feel so many things so intensely and my feelings even without a lot of information are usually correct. However, I also have this very strong left-sided brain that is powered through logic and information. Side note: I actually considered a philosophy minor, because I enjoyed logic so much! At one point I had a job in shipping and logistics and I considered going back to school for it because it was so much fun. My brain instinctively wants to put things in place. Then I have this massive heart which constantly relays information to my brain about how things feel and how people feel and I get all confused, because it doesn’t match up with the logical left-brain information. I get all choked up and don’t know how to deal or what to say. My brain computes the information and says one thing and my heart takes all the feelings and gives a completely different outlook. 

After i had that talk with dana i decided one thing. i was going to use my logic for only things that really needed it. i would use it for things that are not feeling directed like organization and plans and i would let my heart feel what it felt. I may mix the two by using a lil’ logic to act on my feelings and I may use a lil’ feeling when it comes to making plans, but I no longer need to be paralyzed by competing information from both places. 

you know what? i feel so much better! it’s so nice to give your feelings credence. it’s also nice to acknowledge my logical side. they are both so powerful and they both help me so much! I am so grateful for both, but i was happy to figure out i can use both for their greatest good separately and together and it was totally okay. 
so todays big insight? trust your instincts. listen to the voices from the universe. they will gladly light the correct path. it’s all pretty amazing.

i have more to say.

i’ll be back. 

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