Monday, March 25, 2013

Here. This. Now.

I’m sitting under the most beautiful skylight in a great little coffee shop on the Upper West Side. It’s light, warm, and airy in here. Outside it’s a cold, blustery day in New York City and it’s supposed to snow at any second. I have to admit, I’m kind of excited. I have ALWAYS wanted to be in New York when it snows, it seems so romantic, even though I’m sure I’ll remember how much I hate snow the second it starts to pile up. Until then, I’m enjoying my coffee and taking this time to write.

My east coast trip has been all about connection. I’ve traveled to New York a few times and so this time, I’ve gotten to focus on people. I’ve loved it. I’ve learned so much this trip.

I think the thing I keep learning amongst talking to my friends here and even talking to my friends back home is how much compassion we need for ourselves. Every single thread of conversation I’ve had with my friends in the past week is woven with their fear, hurt, and disappointment. The disappointment has been palpable. It seems so very present. It’s right here and right now and rearing it’s ugly head. 


These people. These amazing people keep showing up. They are doing the coolest thing possible during trying times. They are doing the best thing, they are trying to be present and move through it. 

Here. This. Now.

I bought a Tibetian coral bracelet at flea market in Washington DC this weekend. In the cultural sense, it is supposed to bring luck, but I’ve been using it as a reminder to be present. Present for their conversations. Present when I start to day dream. Present to enjoy the moment.

Here. This. Now.

I can’t change the past, the future isn’t here yet. All I have is now. I can only enjoy life as much as I can be present for THIS moment. I can only love my friends and be there for them during their struggles as much as I can be present.

Here. This. Now. 

I’ve also been trying harder to replace HERE with HEAR. Sometimes hearing people is harder than actually being present. However, that authenticity, that moment, that connection is completely lost if I can’t actually hear the people I care about. I don’t want to be present and with them, yet completely miss the point, because I’m wrapped up in me. 

It’s not easy. 

I’m trying. I’m trying to be HERE for my friends. To tell them how much I love them. How grateful I am for them. I’m trying to HEAR in the midst of their struggle. 

I’m showing up for them. 

Everyday I learn that love is so much about just showing up and being there. It’s not about doing things or buying things, it’s about acknowledging humanity and person. It’s about meeting them where they are and saying ‘okay, I see that. I’m here with you.”

The thing I realize that if we get caught up in what we are supposed to be, if we get caught up in trying to make others perfect and not allowing them to write their own stories, we lose the lesson. We are not validating their existence, their story. I keep learning that if we can show up for those people in our lives and say something like this: 

We will create the most authentic, deep and compassionate relationships of our lives.

If we can say this to ourselves and feel this, feel this, we can change our own personal worlds and create a ripple effect, little waves on the lake of life. Little waves of love and acceptance, that create life changing tidal waves. 

Tidal waves.

How can you show up?
How can you be here and now?

I challenge you, the next time you start to worry or berate yourself for past mistakes. Say it. 

Here. This. Now.

It gives you incredible permission to be the boss of things you cannot control. Do it with yourself. Do it with your friends. Start the ripple.

~ x ~

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